Some of you may have heard me mention the acronym LBFMPBFR (“Little Brown Fucking Machine Powered By Fish & Rice”) prior to my departure, a term I was introduced to by some friends and quickly adopted into my vocabulary. It is an absolutely wonderful term, commonly known as LBFM for short, and I was surprised at just how many people — especially world travelers — are already aware of it.

To be more descriptive, what it really means is an accommodating Asian woman who’ll provide enthusiastic sex in return for a small payment, even no payment at all, just because — well, because of many reasons, they all have their own. In other words, unlike women from the States (who require big spending and even then often still don’t put out), Asian women are a lot more concerned about a man’s most basic needs. I’m just saying that I don’t mind moving heaven and earth to provide for you, as long as you will provide for me.

The term “LBFM” was coined several decades ago when Western soldiers were posted to Asia and discovered the joys of LBFM. Having come from lands where women were neither little nor accommodating, young (and not so young) soldiers and sailors very quickly warmed to the LBFM concept.

Believe it or not, as I have learned so far, the availability of enthusiastic LBFM sex also played an indirect role in extending the Vietnam War — according to one inside source members of the press, the military brass, and even the Embassy personnel slanted their reports to make the war seem ultimately winnable. Why? They were in no hurry to trade the LBFMs in Asia for the OOSMs (“Over-sized Overbearing Spending Machines”) they had left back home. And I for one completely understand why they were not at all eager to return home to their OOSMs when their tour of duty was over — hell, some never did! I can’t say I blame them, either. I personally don’t want to return home when this adventure is over… I just currently don’t have enough funds to live here indefinitely. One day though…

PI Chick

Now, I am sure some of you believe the term LBFM is derogatory, right? Originally, yes I suppose it was. Now, however, it is almost a compliment. LBFMs are great women who will do anything to satisfy their man. But back then, those were the days of “saints and whores”. The good girls back home didn’t put out (hell, many good girls today still don’t put out, despite our best efforts) and many guys would marry the good girls regardless, in the belief that they will not stray after marriage either. But you have to remember, the good women are not always quality women.

I mean, seriously now, LBFMs are fun! I mean fuck, they put out and love doin’ it! And to guys back then who fell for the good girls scam (the “wide-eyes” back home instead of the “slanted-eyes” here), LBFMs in their opinion weren’t “quality women”. Many young guys did actually marry an LBFM and brought her home, but other guys kept to the distinction. They did their tour of duty, got lots of LBFM sex, maybe knocked up an LBFM or two along the way, and then headed back to Kansas to marry their college sweethearts — many of whom turned out to have married someone else while her “one and only” was overseas fighting (or at the very least found a new fuck-buddy in the meantime). Me, personally, I am still looking for the LBFM I can call my own, maybe even bring home! (you think I’m kidding but I am dead serious…)

Course, as I have already warned a few of you, after a year or two back in the States I will be moving here. As such, I have decided I do not need to find my wife here, she will still be waiting for me when I return.

All in all, what it really comes down to is LBFM versus OOSM. Having seen all I have seen, the winner is, and always will be, the LBFMs. OOSMs require too much effort and money with not enough return on the investment. They are constantly nagging or in need — or worse, they want to change you to better suit them. By contrast, the LBFMs are completely content with me the way I am, and willing to satisfy my every whim, whether sexual or not… Oh man oh man its fucking great, I don’t know what else to say!

  This post was imported from my old Shibuya Daze Blogger, a drunken, laughable blog intended only for friends that eventually grew and evolved into the HoliDaze Blog and The HoliDaze Travel Community, a full-fledged travel site with hundreds of articles covering over 55 countries all around the world. You can also view the most recent articles on Japan

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